How To Make A Marriage Successful According to Albert

Marriage can be very hard work. But my hubby has a few tips for those who may need a bit of assistance. These aren't just any tips, Oh no. These are tips that he actually employs himself! Some of them even today!

1) When your wife is talking and you no longer wish to participate in the conversation, simply put a large couch pillow over your face, while she's STILL speaking, and lean back with an exhausted sigh...surely she will get the point and stop talking.

2) If she continues, proceed to step two, and turn the volume on the television up louder, hoping she'll get the hint.

3) If she still does not, simply exclaim "I don't want to talk. I don't like you." And then pretend to be asleep. And then laugh at your own humor...or uh, lack thereof...

4) When your wife innocently asks you "Honey, what do you want to do this weekend?" Just answer, "This" and resume your fake-sleep position.

After said wife finally leaves you alone, spend the rest of the afternoon and evening apologizing for such ugly behavior!