Stalked by the Stork...a diary of raising twelve kids

Having twelve children is an amazing blessing and one heck of a crazy ride. Join us through all the joys, smiles, tribulations and trials as we navigate this fabulous journey!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Public Notice to my Husband and Children...

Dear Amazing Husband and Wonderful Children,
This is your wife/mother writing. I am writing you this notice, which I am posting publicly to the blogosphere because my repeated attempts at talking to you have apparently fallen on on deaf ears. Lately I have been feeling, well, a little bit irritated by the general lack of respect and appreciation for my time, efforts, and especially my sleep during this 9th month of my 9th pregnancy with our 10th child. Here, I have created a detailed list to inform you of my specific grievances and more importantly, my direct requests.
For the remainder of my pregnancy and up until the point where the new baby is sleeping through the night, Please:
*Do not set your alarm for a half hour earlier than you plan to actually wake up, and then poke me in the arm when it goes off, groggily whispering "Get that, Ang! Hit snooze!" and then repeat this process every ten minutes.
* Do not set an alarm in your bedroom that you do not plan to on waking up to turn off. I do not wish to dash from my room to yours in order to disarm your alarm clock so that you can continue to sleep. Because while YOU may be adept at sleeping through your alarm buzzing, your five youngest siblings are not.
*Do not wake me up in the middle of the night to mention apparently trivial bits of news such as
"hey Ang, I can't sleep" or requests such as "Can you scratch my back". Seriously, I am 9 months pregnant and you just woke me up to scratch your back!
*Do not approach me past 7:30 in the evening to announce/ask any of the following:
-I need my gym clothes washed...for tomorrow
-I have a class project...due tomorrow
-Tomorrow I have a test....
-Did you get any work clothes ready for me?
- I need ______ for tomorrow
- I don't have any clean underwear
- I don't have any clean ______ (fill in the blank with whatever article of clothing you have
run out of and failed to notify me of in a timely fashion.
- We're out of dog food.
* On a Saturday or Sunday, when I am taking a nap, please do not approach my sleeping body and wave your homework under, in or around my face, asking if I can check it for you. Surely, it can wait until I wake up.
*Do not approach the door of my bathroom and bang on the door, asking "are you in there mom? It's me, Brice!" and inquiring when I will be out. Just so you know, I am aware its you, Brice. You don't need to state your name. I am familiar with you and your voice.
*Do not announce, in the middle of toddler/baby chaos with dinner cooking on the stove and multiple kids doing homework, your intent to go "have a beer for a few minutes." Rest assured, I'd like to have a beer myself. But since I can't, neither can least until bedtime.
*Do not call on your way home from work to tell me you're on the way....and then stop for a beer, without calling again to inform me of the change. (Obviously, these last two are directed towards My Amazing Hubby).
* Do not remind me of how your mother was able to prepare a large, filling, healthy breakfast for you and your sisters each morning before school. Your mother and mine combined didn't have the same morning workload that I do. (okay so this too is addressed to hubby).
*Do not leave your electronics, or gaming apparatus, including but not limited to such things as
cell phones, chargers, Ipods, Mp3 players, remote controls, wii wires, PS3 wires, video games, discs, controllers, and game consoles, unattended and not put away. Babies like to scavenge the living room for such treasures and I tire of repeatedly having to take them away. Over and over and over.
*Please DO check your pockets before dumping your dirty clothes in the laundry room. I am NOT responsible for any of the aforementioned electronics, crayons, pens, batteries, food, or
play-dough left in your pockets.
* Please do not leave your shoes outside by the trampoline. Otherwise, if it rains, you will be wearing wet shoes to school the next morning.
* Please resist the urge, yes you BRICE, to constantly point out the fact that my belly is poking out beneath my shirt. I am well aware of this fact. I can feel the breeze. I just can't help it right now.
*On a related note, please stop bringing your friends in the house whilst I am nursing your sister
in the living room and then getting mad AT ME! If you're going to be embarrassed, you may
want to check first!
* One last request, this one for hubby, please do not sit on the couch playing video games,
watching me dash and dart around the downstairs, cleaning and calming babies and ask me
with a straight face "What's for dinner?" as you continue to play.
Okay, vent over. I will post these reminders to the refrigerator, where I can add as necessary.
I love you all enormously,


Anonymous said...

Sounds like you're having a lot of fun there! Hang in there! You'll get through this month, I promise!
Lifting up prayers right now!
Matthew 11:28-30: Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Prayer Bears
My email address

Mom2my10 @ 11th Heaven said...

I know this was a vent, but this was hysterical! I especially love the waving of the homework in your face while your body is sleeping part! I just delivered my 10th 14 days ago, and my kids do this all the time! I can TOTALLY relate to you! Good luck, girl, and let me know when your 10th comes so I can move you up on the Mega-Family Blogs list. Have a great day!

Rose said...

I can so relate. I'm not pregnant, but I do deal with large numbers of kids daily. The one about dealing with cranky kids, chaos and cooking and then being asked about dinner is especially familiar. Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Praying as always!
Galatians 4:3-6: Even so we, when we were children, were in bondage under the elements of the world: But when the fulness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law, To redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons. And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.
Prayer Bears
My email address

debi9kids said...

LOL! Oh Ang, I could almost duplicate this list (aside from the nursing bit) and still be thoroughly annoyed, even without pregnancy hormones.
I am exhausted for you! UGH

Sharlene said...

So has your public grievance helped things any? I am guessing no.... :)

Kim said...

Oh Honey! After reading this, I'm going to become a faithful follower of your blog. You're amazing!!

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