It's been an eventful, yet still confusing couple of days. I went to see my Obstetrician yesterday (yes, even though I almost always see my beloved midwife, Tammy, I DO also have an OB that Tammy works with, and she is pretty cool herself!) I discussed with Dr. Gingrich the fact that my HCG levels were so low and had gone only from 13 to 16 and we both agreed that this meant the pregnancy was not viable. We discussed the fear that it could be ectopic, but Dr. Gingrich reminded me that since my levels were so super low, there isn't anything that could be seen on an ultrasound.
I went back today to get follow up HCG levels and to my surprise- they doubled. Doubling is what they are supposed to do. So now what? Ashley (Tammy's daughter) called and told me that Dr. G still feels that this pregnancy is non-viable based on the previous low level and the fact that it barely inched up from Friday to Sunday. She said I could come in for a methotrexate injection or a D&C.
At that point, things started spinning around in my head way to quickly. The levels doubled like they should, yet the pregnancy is still most likely non viable. All I could think of was that I wasn't ready to do anything just yet, in view of these new tests. I asked if I could safely wait a week and Dr. Gingrich said I could. Well, more specifically Ashley said Dr. Gingrich said I could. But you get the point. Dr. Gingrich also said that she didn't want me to wait too long and allow those numbers to rise too much more because of the fear that this could be ectopic. So then I was confused. Why offer a D&C if the fear is that its ectopic? Isn't a D&C a uterine procedure? How would that help at all if the pregnancy is ectopic? Perhaps she intended on the D&C being a starting point and if she found nothing there,then that would give more clues to the fact that the pregnancy could be in a fallopian tube. The other option, a methotrexate injection would mean I'd need to stop nursing, I'm not certain for how long, so I don't want to jump to that either.
And then there is the fact that- well, the numbers doubled. Like they are supposed to. Like we'd prayed for them to. I can't just jump to the conclusion, regardless of how likely it is to be absolutely correct, that the baby has no chance. I want...I need to wait and see, will it double again? And again? And if it does, doesn't that start to change things? And then, back to the D&C option...if the pregnancy is ectopic, wouldn't the D&C be useless, and if its a failed uterine pregnancy, eventually wouldn't it abort on its own, making the D&C needless? I am so confused. So confused.
What Dr. Gingrich, and Tammy, and Albert and I are afraid of is this scenario- the pregnancy could be ectopic, and therefore totally and absolutely non-viable. The longer we sit on this, and wait and watch, and the higher those HCG numbers rise, the larger that baby grows in the fallopian tube. And it could rupture and will eventually rupture if un-treated. Then we'd have a life threatening emergency for me, a loss of the tube and the half of fertility that comes with it.
I wish that there was something that could be done to take a look at the fallopian tube to see if the pregnancy is there or not. That would be so immensely helpful in making this decision.
This situation is very draining. The decisions and choices feel very heavy and obviously there is a lot at stake if I choose wrong. So for now, I am taking a few days off and just waiting. I'm laying low and being grateful for the fact that right now, on THIS day, I have Baby Penguin still here, regardless of what happens tomorrow. Next Monday I will get labs again. And we'll hopefully have a clearer picture. If levels have plummeted or barely moved up we'll probably move forward with the D&C and see what happens that way. If they double or rise sharply then we take it one day at at time past that. I'll keep you all updated. Thank you all for the prayers. I appreciate them tremendously.
Stalked by the Stork...a diary of raising twelve kids
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
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9 comments:
I'm thinking about and praying for you Ang. You really are in an impossible situation and I pray that God will give you wisdom and peace.
You sweet lady... Of course the Lord knows this baby inside & out already. He knows what will be best for you. Prayers for your peace of mind and comfort, no matter the outcome... and of course, mostly prayers for a healthy baby :)
I think you're asking some very important questions! Not sure how an ectopic pg is dealt with but a D&C sounds totally useless to me. For what it's worth, I'd insist on an u/s. If nothing shows up, okay. But there's a chance that something can be seen!
Stopping by to let you know I'm here praying!
Psalms 62:5-8 My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.
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Any update on Baby Penguin?!
Well known words but what comfort they give! Praying!
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
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I'm sorry you are going through this. I admit to being totally confused why they wouldn't do an ultrasound before a D&C. I did fertility treatments and they routinely did an ultrasound to make sure the sac was in the uterus at around 5.5 weeks. Before you do anything I would insist on an ultrasound.
Keep hoping for a new update....
Am here praying!
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
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Keep hoping for news...still praying hard!
Psalms 25:4-5 Shew me thy ways, O LORD; teach me thy paths. Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.
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