Stalked by the Stork...a diary of raising twelve kids

Having twelve children is an amazing blessing and one heck of a crazy ride. Join us through all the joys, smiles, tribulations and trials as we navigate this fabulous journey!

Friday, March 28, 2008

Three things...

Okay this post is a continuation of Debi's post. You can see her's by linking to the Boufard family website.
Anyhow, she has asked us to come up with three things we each wish we could change about life.
Actually Debi, there are quite a few things I'd love to go back and change but only a few of them are suitable for the website...

Once, shortly after Albert and I were married and were stationed in San Diego we went to see about starting college. There was a school that we thought would be perfect for us. You only attened two nights per weeks so I could have gone 2 nights while Albert watched Drew and he could have gone 2 nights per week while I stayed home with Drew. Anyhow when we went to speak to the college (remember we were both only 19 or 20 and pregnant with #2) they told us that they didn't think we would "fit in" at their school.
We both regret not insisting on filling out the application and asking to speak with someone else. Instead of standing up for ourselves, we just left.

When it was time to leave California, we had narrowed our options to St. Louis or Knoxville. I really wish we'd have chosen Knoxville. I miss my Mom and sisters so much and it breaks my heart to watch my sister struggle as a single parents with issues like childcare and help with getting her boys to activities and even home from school. To be in a place where I could be with them and give and recieve help would be so wonderful. Unfortuanately its one of those things where the more time passes the harder it is to leave. The housing market isn't great now, so selling our house would be a fat hassle. Not to mention that we'd never find another almost 3000 square foot home brand new for the $168,000 we paid for this one. Plus teaching in Knoxville doesn't pay near as much as it does here so it would mean a giant pay cut...something we cant afford to do. So while there is nothing that ties us to St. least nothing that matters, it too hard to leave.

This was also one of Debi's answers. I'm sure it would be on a lot of women's regret list. I don't mind to say that I hate, hate, hated my C-section. I know some women dont mind them but most of those women seem to be the ones who have only ever had C-sections and don't fully understand the difference between giving birth vaginally and giving birth surgically. I will readily admit that the C-section had its benefits- the biggest of which was no contractions. Also it did include less bleeding during recovery. But here is where the benefits end.
The biggest issue I had with the C-section was the fact that it made for a dreadful birth experiece. I could not see my children be born. In fact I had to depend on the dr. calling out "Baby's out" and hearing them cry to even know for sure they had been born so the sense of disconnect was huge for me. Then they do this thing where they sort of hold the baby on your chest for a few seconds for you to look at. This was absolutely sad. Having someone put your baby on your chest for a few seconds is nowhere near the same as scooping up your newborn in your arms and curling your body around his/hers. Then the twins were sent to the nursery and I had to spend a long time in a recovery room away from them. Then next few days it was difficult to walk over to them and scoop them up.
Physically as far as the C-section went...there is something definately disconcerting about giving birth naken and with your arms tied down to a bed. Espicially in an OR with about 20 other people all covered in gowns and masks walking around you and you can't even tell who is who. Plus you are numb up to your chest so you are soooooooo out of control, its ridiculous.
I know that modesty isn't exactly the word of the moment with a vaginal birth either, but at least I'm in control of my own bodyand can push my child out myself. When my child is delivered I feel great and within hours feel back to my old self.
I really hope to never experience another C-Section again. The thought that so many dr.'s try to talk women into repeat elective sections boggles my mind. I'd seriously find another doctor if I'd had one of those!

Okay, so that's my list of three. Who else wants to make a list?



Nana said...

Oh Ang,

You didn't mention the very worst thing about yourc-section...your spot!

Love and Kisses,


Lynn said...

I've had 6 c-sections and never had a choice. I never had a "spot" though.
3 things? There have been some smaller things over the years I would have changed, but there's one HUGE thing...if I could change one thing I would never, EVER have had that amnio...and my youngest son would be alive..............

BoufMom9 said...

OH! So so so agree about all you said about the csection! I hated that I didn't know when they were born too! They just held them up and off they went. It was sad & depressing. And, I was so loopy from the drugs...just a miserabl;e experience. :(
ps OH! Lynn! I am so sorry. How heartbreaking!

The Collins Family said...

I must have been the most miserable ever at the end of my pregnancy because my c-section recovery was a relief! I'm one of "those" women who have only birthed one way, but I don't have any regrets at all about the way it went. I would have pushed em out if it was safe, but since it wasn't we did what we had to do to get my babies here safely...there's no shame in that!
Seriously though, of my friends who have had vaginal births, I took way less pain meds and was up and around just as well as the ones who had large (long?)episiotomies or tears. I do wish I had gotten to see the babies sooner, but even a natural birth wouldn't have fixed that. I wasn't stable enough blood pressure-wise to go to them and they weren't stable enough to come to me :(

Jenn H said...

Great list, its always the what ifs that are the hardest.

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