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Stalked by the Stork...a diary of raising twelve kids

Having twelve children is an amazing blessing and one heck of a crazy ride. Join us through all the joys, smiles, tribulations and trials as we navigate this fabulous journey!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Memory...Or Lack Thereof....

I used to have a really good memory. Really, I did. I could remember the smallest, most trivial details from a conversation years past. Fast forward twenty years and now I struggle to remember big, important events and issues that I was just reminded of only hours before. I forget appointments, conversations, important events. If it weren't for face book, I'd have a real problem remembering birthdays. When I talk on the phone to family and friends and in conversation they refer to something that confuses me, I am stricken with the odd intuitive notion that I SHOULD know what they are referring to, that we have discussed this before, but sadly, I'm fuzzy on the details. At that critical moment I usually have to decide between either pretending to be fully aware and move on with the conversation, or confess that I need a re-explanation.
If this is frustrating to me, It has to be frustrating to family and friends. Here's the thing...I don't do it on purpose. Here is the reality for me (and for countless other mothers on the planet who face this same issue)...my brain and memory span is sort of like cell phone who's voice mail storage is full. As new messages come in, old ones get bumped off into oblivion. Read, deleted. My brain can only hold a finite amount of information (names, details, appointments, conversations ect). The pressing needs and demands of daily life forces my mind to make choices...choices about what information stays front and center (the fact that Brice needs to learn his spelling words by Friday, and the fact that we have to have a snack packed for him for tomorrows class picnic) and in order to do this successfully, it automatically deletes other information....the fact that my mom is working late and won't be able to talk on the phone, the fact that my sister has a job at all, or the fact that six weeks ago, I scheduled a pediatrician appointment for today. It's not purposeful or even something that feels within my control. I am keenly aware that I have hurt people's feelings with what seems like disregard or neglect. I don't know if it makes it better or worse to admit that truthfully, it's neither. I probably just forgot all about it. I am hoping that in years to come, as many of the small children grow into older kids, things will even out and my memory will come back (okay, so I can hear all of you other moms who's kids are older laughing at my naive hope).
Until then, I can beg my brain to retain the things that people tell me, remember promises I have made, and remember the things others have mentioned as important to them. I could get a calendar for appointments and events. Other than that, I have to try to understand that my brain is doing the best it can to keep up with the immediate, in the moment needs that can't be pushed to the back or to the side. The issue becomes this- those things...the "in-the-moment's" are basically continual and ongoing. They squeeze out everything else and don't allow room for extra storage.
I'm working on it. So far, I haven't been so successful.

16 comments:

Sunday Taylor said...

Oh, honey...I only have 3 kids and this blog post could have been about ME. I don't know how you do it! Hang in there.

Lynn said...

When your memory fails there just ain't much you can do about it! Hope it gets better!
Stopping by to let you know that I'm always here praying!
Jeremiah 17:7-8 Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.
My email address

16 blessings'mom said...

Suh-weeeet! I am not the only one! What I hate is when I am so proud of myself for remembering that one child needs a class snack, then forget that another needed poster board for a project. I will remember 99 things at the store then the one thing I forget, everyone is like, "Mom!!" Honestly, my youngest is now four, and I sleep through most nights, and it has gotten a teeny tiny bit better. But I am not sure, because I probably am forgetting the things I am forgetting.

Lynn said...

Praying right now!
Isaiah 26:3-4 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength.
My email address

debi9kids said...

Ok, my kids are older, and guess what? My brain is still mush. ugh
I still try to claim "pregnancy brain" but no one buys it anymore ;)

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