Stalked by the Stork...a diary of raising twelve kids

Having twelve children is an amazing blessing and one heck of a crazy ride. Join us through all the joys, smiles, tribulations and trials as we navigate this fabulous journey!

Thursday, March 17, 2011


This is a word that has come up repetedly in our house over the past few days. Particulary because, well...there isn't much of it. Not for the kids and not for us. With ten kids, two parents and four bedrooms, no one gets their own room. When the kids complain about this (which is pretty rare) I remind them that I don't have my own room either, I share with their Dad (and for now, Baby Mia). In fact, I don't even have my own bed! The kids each share with two other siblings. We are fortunate that the rooms are fairly spacious and so there is enough room that everyone should be comfortable. Still, those looking for a quiet retreat away from others, a place to be alone and uninterrupted had probably better take a walk outside somewhere, because they aren't likely to find solitude in their bedroom.
And neither are we. In fact, lately its been a struggle to find um, couple time at all. Intimate couple time. Okay, so frankly I'm talking about sex. Our bedroom seems to be constantly invaded. By toddler and teenagers alike. The door locks, but we have those easy-peasy-to-pick locks, which some kids have learned to pick with just their thumbnail. Even some of the littelist kids (read: Sydney) can pick the lock that way and do so in one seemless move, so that there isn't even much warning. The knob just sort of twists and opens. Hello!
No matter where we are in the house, children are in close proximity. Even when we are in our room, usually children are right outside playing in thier loft or rooms. Whenever we start to think about having "time togther" we have to weigh the odds of anyone realizing they need something, or want something or maybe just want to tattle on a sibling and barging through the door. Walking in on your parents must be a pretty horrific thing and being walked in on by your children is equally disturbing. And we have been walked in on a few times and almost walked in on countless others. Recently we were alone in our room and heard a kid attempt to walk in. Immediatley Albert asked who was there. It was Drew. Albert then told him to go downstairs and not try to walk in when the door is locked agian and to try to remember to KNOCK FIRST. Drew let out a disgusted groan and commented that we were "nasty" and then went on his way downstairs. Well, that sort of ruins the moment. I'm really getting sick of having to hide in closets, bathrooms or worse yet, park in some seculded area late at night. I can only imagine being rolled up on by a police cruiser. Heck no officer, we aren't teenagers parking...we're the parents of ten kids who can't find a decent place in our house to have sex without being walked in on, so here we are, parked outside, by the woods (way, way outside...where no one can see). Yikes, that would be a nightmare. I suppose we could just be glad for the interruptions and lack of privacy and call it birth control. After all, this is the longest I've gone without getting pregnant in a very long while. In years, in fact. Maybe one day, years down the road, we'll have the house to ourselves and all our children will have moved away and started thier own families (can you imagine? I can't!). Until then, I guess it's bathrooms, closets and the occassional late night drive...


Mackey said...

I ROTFL not at you my friend, but WITH you. Yep, right there in the trenches with you there. So relieved to know that we are not alone with this dilema. And sadly, I don't have any solutions either. I must admit that since we lived way out in the boonies on acreage, we only have to retreat outside in OUR woods. However, so far, the threat of being rolled up on by the sheriff keeps me inside, just "thinking" about that dire attempt.

Anonymous said...

Know that your family is always in my thoughts and prayers!
Isaiah 53:4-6 ¶Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.
Prayer Bears
My email address

Anonymous said...

I'm so irritated! wrote this whole thing and it didn't post! Okay, trying again.
First, get a new lock on the door! Get a dead bolt if you have to. And second, make a "do not disturb" sign. The kids need to know that there are times when the two of you want/need to be alone and no, not just to do "that." You need time to talk about your days, etc. So the kids have to learn that when that sign's on the door they do NOT knock or bother you in any way unless they need a ride to the hospital...not exactly what I said the first time...and will it post now?

debi9kids said...

you are not alone. at all.
Russ and I used to go out to the pool house when we lived in NJ. LOL

For the most part, it's why I have always stayed up late... cos then maybe the kids will actually fall asleep....

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