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Stalked by the Stork...a diary of raising twelve kids

Having twelve children is an amazing blessing and one heck of a crazy ride. Join us through all the joys, smiles, tribulations and trials as we navigate this fabulous journey!

Friday, September 23, 2011

Hypochondriac and other random stuff

On Wednesday, Brandon and Mia had check-ups at our pediatrician's office. Brandon started sixth grade this year and so per school rules, he needed the well visit. Mia was long overdue for her 12-15 month checkup (as she's seventeen months now). This appointment had been scheduled and re-scheduled so finally we made it happen.
Brandon was a bit apprehensive as we sat in the waiting area. Before we were even called back, he started. "I think I have a hernia" he stated. Okay, to be fair, he did make this same complaint a few weeks back but since his "pain" quickly dissipated, we didn't make an appointment. Now suddenly, his "hernia" was back with a vengeance.
So we explained Brandon's concern to the nurse practitioner who examined him and declared that she could find no hernia. Almost immediately, Brandon mentioned that he felt he needed his platelets checked. "No, Brandon, you don't need your platelets checked, you have a hematology appointment next month, they'll be checked then. They're fine," I told him.
"Okay," he admitted. "I don't need my platelets checked. But what about my urine? Remember you were supposed to bring me for a re-check of my urine and didn't do it!" He was very hopeful. The nurse practitioner agreed that he probably did need to have his urine looked at, and sent him into the bathroom. A minute later, he returned with his sample. "Look, Mom!" he called out, holding the cup up to the light. "Look in here! You see those little pieces? Those particles? THAT could be sugar! I think I could be diabetic!"
"No, Brandon, you aren't diabetic. That's not sugar...probably just some skin cells from the tip of you penis, really." I told him. I reminded him that next time he should potty a bit before collecting the sample.
"Well, then....it could be sperm!" he replied.
"Okay, seriously Brandon. It's not sugar. It's not sperm. Your urine is fine, your platelets are fine and you don't have a hernia. Now that's enough. You are healthy." I told him firmly. At that he seemed to give up and was relatively quiet throughout the rest of the appointment, until his vaccination showed up and he asked for his little sister to get her shots first.
After he got his shots and we left the office and headed to the van, he struck again.
"Oh, mom...I can't breathe! I think I'm allergic! My heart is going really fast!"
Oh crap, I thought....but then I looked at him, with his great big grin spreading across his face. I shook my head at him and opened up the van door. "Get in, Brandon, and don't talk again till we're home."
He is such a hypochondriac. Doubtless, this is a left-over effect from the years of his life that were indeed filled with medical issues and emergencies. He's always had a tad bit of trouble with the fact that he doesn't have to worry about this anymore. I think it's equal parts fear, anxiety and the fact that he enjoys attention. Tremendously. And the only thing that perhaps rivals that love of attention is his corresponding love of drama. Any drama. His, yours, mine, a strangers. It's all good to him. And because he's known so many other children, aside from himself that have been sick, he still doesn't fully register that sickness is the exception, not the norm. That severe sickness is in fact, NOT usually uncovered at the pediatrician's office. That most illnesses are simple viruses and infections that get better quickly, either on their own or with the help of a prescription for an antibiotic, they are not usually life altering events.
So at this stage, a well check visit with Brandon is an exercise in frustration and annoyance. I make faces at him and pretend I'm totally exasperated with the things he says and his silliness. But the truth is, secretly, I love telling him how healthy he is. I could repeat those things to him a million times. And he gives me a million opportunities. Every single time.

Mia also had a great appointment. She weighed 23 or 24 pounds (how quickly I already forget) so it's obvious that any fears we used to have about her gaining weight or falling off her curve are put to rest. She has gained significantly since that time and we are so happy about it. She's meeting all her developmental milestones and is doing fabulously. She isn't fond of visits to the pediatrician's office which usually means she nurses non-stop and tries to avoid all the staff. She was mildly nicer to everyone on Wednesday though.

In other news, I have something exciting to share! I start a doula training workshop tonight. It runs all weekend long so Albert will spend most of the weekend alone with the kids. I am super happy about starting this training which will hopefully lead to a new career opportunity as the kids grow older. I have alot of other things to do besides this workshop on the way to full certification, so tonight is just the first step. I am a little bit nervous, but really excited and really happy about the prospect of helping other women get the birth that they want- but more on that later.

I'm happy to report that my new organizational approach to this school year with the kids has been working out awesomely! I'm still keeping it up and so far- great results. But more on that soon too!
Since I'll be at the workshop most of the weekend I probably won't be posting much. I will be home at night (but you all know that Saturday nights are COLLEGE FOOTBALL!) so it will probably be next week before I can post again. Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

14 comments:

Dawn said...

Oh my! I was laughing so hard at your Brandon's suggestions. I too have a Brandon who is a hypochondriac. He is never happier than when he has a doctor, dentist or eye appointment. I thought we would get him recently when he was referred to an ENT doc for his frequent nosebleeds, but no! He didn't even flinch when they said they had to cauterize a few places. I also don't blame you for being so happy to repeat over and over that he's healthy! What a blessing :)

Anonymous said...

I have a friend who's a doula and she loves every minute of it...well...except for the calls in the middle of the night. She's got a whole passel of kids, too!
Know that you're always in my thoughts and prayers!
2 Samuel 22:2-3 And he said, The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour; thou savest me...
Prayer Bears
My email address

Anonymous said...

Praying!
2 Samuel 22:7 In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried to my God: and he did hear my voice out of his temple, and my cry did enter into his ears.
Prayer Bears
My email address

Anonymous said...

Know that I'm still here praying for your family!
2 Samuel 22:29-33 For thou art my lamp, O LORD: and the LORD will lighten my darkness. For by thee I have run through a troop: by my God have I leaped over a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him. For who is God, save the LORD? and who is a rock, save our God? God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect.
Prayer Bears
My email address

Anonymous said...

The Lord knows what the future holds. He's already there working....praying!
Isaiah 65:24 And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.
Prayer Bears
My email address

debi9kids said...

LOL about Brandon.
Teddy is my hypochondriac, although he tends to be correct(ish) when he makes his claims...
(ie he told me he thought he had an ulcer because his stomach hurt. It was GERD. so, close guess Ted.)

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